Io, Saturnalia!

Time for a post on my War On Christmas! Today's topic is Saturnalia, the Roman winter solstice holiday!

Saturn eating his offspring.

Saturnalia is the celebration of Saturn, the youngest of the Titans and the father of the Greco-Roman pantheon, most importantly Jupiter. The holiday was started around 217 BC to raise citizens morale after a crushing defeat by the Carthaginians. Originally celebrated on December 17th, it soon became very popular and went to a week long celebration ending on the 23rd, despite Augustus's attempts to shorten it to 3 days and Caligula's attempts to shorten it to 5 (both of which resulted in citizens rioting).

To celebrate Romans would untie the ropes on the statue of Saturn that usually bound him the rest of the year. The traditional greeting for the holiday was 'Io, Saturnalia!" (pronounced ee-oh), which means "Ho, Glory to Saturn!" They would wear a garb called a synthesis, which was informal wear and very colorful, and the pileus, or freedman's hat, because Saturnalia was a relaxed holiday. The colors they would wear were golds and greens. They would decorate live trees (they didn't cut them down and bring them indoors) with garlands and gold decorations of moons, stars, and suns. It was also a time where the social order was reversed. Slaves would often be forgiven instead of punished, and sometimes they would be given a feast by their masters. Though this sounds nice, it wasn't quite as it sounds. Often the slaves would prepare the meal and their master's, be served by their master, then have to clean up. It was very controlled role reversal. It was also a week where everyone drank heavily and exchanged small gifts, such as candles, clay figurines, and poems.

This is the pileus.

So let us join in drunken merriment this December 17th-23rd, Io Saturnalia!

Also, I wan to include this somewhat related video showing how effective the War On Christmas has been.

War On Christmas PSA

They Want A War? I'll Give Them A War!

Sorry Thanksgiving, even I'm passing you up (for a moment).

It seems like every year after Halloween all the Christmas decorations go up. Hell, if you're Target you put them out on Halloween. Thanksgiving is entirely bypassed by most stores. I have yet to walk in to any store and see any Thanksgiving decorations, promotions, ads, or any kind of acknowledgment that the holiday exists.  It's all Christmas stuff. So by now you're probably thinking to yourself, "Self, everyone knows this. Why is he going on about things we can all readily see?" And I think that is a good question. The reason I bring this up is The War On Christmas.


That's right. There is supposedly a war on Christmas going on as we speak (read, whatever). My problem is that I have never seen any evidence of the war. There certainly aren't Hanukkah decorations in my work place. No Kwanza decorations either. Every year we hear from Limbaugh and O'Reilly about this conspiracy to eradicate Christmas. They rail against people and companies who say "Happy Holidays!" because this is America, and in America we celebrate Christmas goddammit! I guess the strategy of making all of your customers feel welcome makes you unAmerican. Again, I don't see any evidence that this is the case.

Let's take a quick sidetrack. I, personally, despise Christmas. I find the materialism of it to be sickening, the fake care for ones fellow man that fades after the holiday sickening, really all of it. It's a commercialized sensationalized holiday that I feel has no value. I do enjoy spending time with family during the holiday season, but I enjoy that year-round. That's about where my enjoyment of Christmas ends. I don't like decorating, gift giving, gift receiving, or carols.

I hate this attitude

With all of that said, I have decided I am going to wage an actual war on Christmas. It's not a conspiracy, it's not secretive, I'm going right out into the open. I am waging a full on war against this holiday. I will say "Happy Holidays" to everyone. I will refuse to partake in the festivities that are Christmas specific. I will actively denounce the materialism that is inherit in the holiday nowadays. I will spread a message of caring about your fellow humans year-round. Part of my war on Christmas will be to research the pagan holidays that Christmas borrowed heavily from and share them with my readers. There are some fascinating festivals from around the world. I'm hoping that by doing so I will show that Christmas is a patchwork of pagan holidays with a dash of Christianity added and a heaping scoop of materialism. This is the strategy that I am hoping will bring the holiday to it's knees.

This is what my War On Christmas will most likely look like.

So stay tuned for fun Christmas history and join me in my march on Christmas!